I DIED BUT NOT A NORMAL DEATH

I can see my lifeless body lying on the floor surrounded by the pool of blood from my head, legs, mouth. I am left here in this dark place surrounded by the shadows of these monsters whose eyes were blinded with lust quickly turning into panic when my body finally gave up. My hair is all wet with blood, my lips are torned and there are cuts and bruised all over my naked body. My body is painted with red and blue bruises. Tears are rolling down through my cheeks seeing myself this miserable and lifeless in this scary and dark concrete floor where nobody can hear me scream, screaming on the top of my lungs to get me out of here, to get my body out of this hell but i’m helpless. They are not looking at me neither they can hear me screaming. Their eyes are centered on my dead body exchanging feared glances with each other trying to do something with it. I can’t do anything but just watch them drag my body like a trash and dragging me to the dumpster. It’s dark everywhere and they are gone. Life after death, i heard that it will be peaceful but why am i scared and why am i panting so hard? It’s nothing near to peace instead i’m stuck here sobbing, yelling, screaming and panicking beside my body which has no life, no circulation, no heartbeats.  I was praying and starving for my family to come over and find me. I’m scared in the middle of this horrible dark hell and i just want to feel the warmth of my mom’s lap. I want to cuddle in my daddy’s arms and i just want my brothers protective hug with my sister holding my hand with a tight grip.

                                   I was on my way back home from my tuition waving my friends goodbyes. I realized that it was getting darker so i was pacing fast. Suddenly, i felt like someone was following me and at that instant my heart sank causing my throat dry from fear and panic. I was whispering and muttering gods name and didn’t stop walking because my house was just few blocks away. I was praying to god that by some miracle, let my brother or my father bump into me who were returning from college or office so that they could take me home with them. But my train of thoughts were shattered when a hand covered my mouth gripping both my hands from behind and drag me to the opposite side. It was my neighbor and his four other friends who were drunk and my breath hitched finding myself alone in this horrifying and scary place before they started touching me dirtily and that was when i realized i was being raped. I begged them and was crying to leave me alone but they just laughed. I was trying hard myself to fight against them and push those dirty hands away from me but all of my attempts were in vain. I was shouting for help and screaming out of pain but i felt weak and in shriled pain when one of them hit my head hardly with beer bottle to shut me down’ to stop my scream. I was trembling and shaking with pain and was crying out calling my mom and dad but they stuffed my mouth with clothes. My breath was getting weaker, my attempts to push them off was slower and my eyelids were getting heavier and i was left with no breath anymore and they stopped when my body was not moving and when i stopped protesting and fighting.

                   By the time I realized that I was dead, what i didn’t realize was the goodbye to my friends were my last farewell to them, the quarrel that i had with my siblings were the last one and the embrace of my father before going office this morning was the last one. And the words of my mother to come back home soon was left incomplete. The night is over but my body is still here unmoved and untouched. I can see some people coming toward this direction and as they approach near, their eyes are widened and full of shock covering their mouth and nose. Finally my body is covered in white sheets and is brought in front of my house laid in the ground where i used to play with my brother which is now surrounded by people. My mom fainted at the doorway, my dad is near my dead body crying and asking me to wake up. My brother is crying and holding my little sister who is in the similar condition to that of my mother, constantly and roughly wiping the unstoppable tears by his hand sitting on the ground. No, dad i’m never going to wake up now. Sorry but i left your dreams unfulfilled. You always supported me and cheered me that i will do better than my brother, your son but I’m sorry dad. Your princess couldn’t make it. Mom, so sorry that I couldn’t come home soon. I didn’t get to say how much i love you but mom, this daughter of yours treasures you the most and if i am going to be born again then i will want both of you as my parents again and again though I’m afraid that i will want to be born as a girl or human again or not. Little brother, don’t cry. Your annoying sister will not be there to fight with you anymore. But please takecare of our little sister and don’t let her see the hell that i went through. Protect not only our sister but others sisters as well and promise me this so that i can leave with your assurance. And my dear little sister, live my life that i couldn’t. Make me alive in yourself. Fulfill the dreams that our parents saw for me, for you, for us. And don’t let the world to knock you down like it did to me.

I DIED BUT NOT A NORMAL DEATH. AFTER WITNESSING THE CRUELTY OF THIS WORLD, THE SICKEST AND HORRIBLE PART OF THE HELL, AFTER BEING DIRTY. THE DEATH THAT SCARES THE WHOLE MANKIND. THE DEATH FEARED EVEN BY DEMONS. THE DEATH THAT I NEVER EVER DARED TO IMAGINE IN MY WORST NIGHTMARES. I DIED BUT NOT A NORMAL DEATH.

 

                                     

 


From Priests to Lamas I am Untouchable

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