-Samata Shrestha

I thought guys eve-teased beautiful girls. So I wanted to be one of them.

It was only yesterday that I realized that it had to do more with the guys than with the girls. How stupid I was to juxtapose that beautiful girls are the ones with flawless skin, petite body and model-ish clothes. Oh those girls’ laughs make me so insecure!

Earlier that day, we had a discussion program called Khula Aakash where school students brought the questions about eve-teasing to the surface. One girl asked, “I can shout back to the tyapes who tease me. I have no shame in it. But what if they take further actions and do something wrong like…an acid attack?”

The answers were so mainstream like organizing campaigns and awareness programs. I think the answers come from within and not someone who shouts it to us.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Gandhi didn’t say it to make it some fancy quote so we could like it in Facebook. Eve-teasing has to do more with ethics than with education.

It is true that literacy rate has reduced such incidents of harassment but it is even prevalent with countries with 100% literacy rate. It’s all in the motives. Yes, how we tease also has a way of doing it.

Last night, when I was returning home, a handsome guy( I suppose), commented on how big my hips were. I stood there with a centimeter smile. Was I just flattered? Is it nice to have huge hips? I walked on.

I started to laugh hysterically. No, it was not the joy of feeling beautiful. It was the realization of sheer madness that had haunted me for years. I put a question mark to what beauty really is and what teasing really meant.

Flirting pumps the blood and makes us feel good. But how come the same thing with a little twist become so life threatening that we run to the police? Only when we(girls and guys) realize that no education can work unless we respect each other, eve-teasing could actually be fun. No just kidding. We need to be safe but first, we need to instill that value of equity that no social studies book can provide.

Obviously, our eyes fall on the slim bodies and clear skin. Nobody even cares if that person is a philanthropist. We judge a book by its cover because we just can’t resist the urge. So for now, what I think real beauty is the confidence about how a girl handles herself. No not the stage confidence and stuffs but about being confident with their own unique personality. Of course, one can mold one’s character to the uniqueness. Perhaps, this is what life is all about.

Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. You have one body that does not even last forever. Confidence can be big and eve-teasing can be a nuance. It all depends on who you choose to be. Be you.

Good girls, bad girls: They’re pretty much the same

This blog was first published at:

Good girls and bad girls


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