-Sulav Baral

Domestic violence is limitedly recorded in Nepal that too when it comes to the most sensitive cases such as: sexual relationship, things are more complicated and unheard. In our nation women voices are not heard and the matter has even been worse as their decision of making love is guided by their husband and if refused it creates the path of abuses.

The paths of abuses are so vulnerable that the women are not safe under their own roof. Though the domestic violence is recorded between the wife, husband and the family such violence also prevails in romantic relationships between unmarried couples. These abuses have lead to disturbance in normal life of both the partners. The following abuses that happen in the society unknowingly are:

  1. Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuses are also known as psychological abuse; these abuses do not involve physical abuse. There is use of verbal and non verbal acts that tend to hurt and threat the other person. These types of abuses can mentally harm the partner. The ongoing emotional abuse can destroy individual’s inner self.

The examples of emotional abuses are:

  1. Threatening to destroy or destroying personal property belonging to one’s partner
  2. Driving dangerously while one’s partner is in the car as a conscious intentional act to scare or intimidate
  3. Turning other people against one’s partner
  4. Saying things to upset or frighten one’s partner; acting indifferently to one’s partner’s feelings


  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is the physical harm intened to the partner. Physical aggression in the context of intimate relationships has been defined as “an act carried out with the intention, or perceived intention of causing physical pain or injury to another person.” (straus& Gelles,1986). This type of behavior is intended, at minimum to cause temporary physical pain to the victim. This type of abuse is very vulnerable because it can lead to serious harm to the partner. The physical abuse can traumatize the individual leading to disturbance in normal life functioning. The examples of physical abuses are:

  1. Spitting on
  2. Slapping or hitting with an open hand
  3. Spanking (non-playfully)
  4. Scratching
  5. Pushing; shoving; grabbing
  6. Arm twisting or bending
  7. Hair pulling

1. Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuses fall under rape between the married couples and cohabiting partner. This also includes behaviors such as physical assaults to the sexual partner. Other forms of sexual abuse are physical assaults to the sexual parts of a person’s body and making sexual demands with which one’s partner is uncomfortable. It also had been defined as including “. . . sex without consent, sexual assault, rape, sexual control of reproductive rights, and all forms of sexual manipulation carried out by the perpetrator with the intention or perceived intention to cause emotional, sexual, and physical degradation to another person” (Abraham, 1999, p. 592). The examples of sexual abuses are:

  1. Interference with birth control.
  2. Demanding or coercing the partner to engage in sexual activities with which the partner is uncomfortable
  3. Using an object or fingers on one’s partner in a sexual way against his or her will

(These examples are based on items from various instruments used to measure sexual aggression in romantic dyads and on research on rape, sexual abuse and sexual abuse in marriage, including Koss & Gidycz, 1985; Koss & Oros, 1982; Marshall, 1992a, 1992b; Molina & Basinait-Smith, 1998; Pan, Neidig, & O’Leary,1994; Shepard & Campbell, 1992; Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000; Walker, 1984; Wingood & DiClimente, 1997).

All these forms of abuses arise to an individual with the feeling of obsession, frustration, anger and dissatisfaction. The social functioning of the society hampers with these forms of abuses, ones social life gets affected that mentally and physically disturbs and ultimately affect the individual life. There are many cases where the victim has come over these brutal situations and when reminded of it, made them feel traumatized. These abuses are unknown, unheard and kept within an individual; the only way to avoid it is to raise voice against it. Though the female, women are majorly called as the victim, there are men too who have gone through these types of abuses but don’t come to limelight due to the stereotype thinking of masculine society.

With all of these social disturbances in the society it has lead to various problems to the sexual reproductive health and rights fields such as forceful sex, unsafe sex, practicing wrongful practices related to reproductive health. The only way to avoid these problems is through raising voice and spreading awareness among the people. In conclusion the society becomes free from these undisclosed matters if we raise voice and stand against Abuses, bruises & nuisance.

This blog was first published at



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